The Oscar Nominations are out this morning! And while I did not get to see too many movies this year, I sure saw a bunch of them that were nominated and sort of noodled on several more. And now, my highly controversial predictions which will so be wrong:

Best Picture: “Avatar,” “The Blind Side,” “District 9,” “An Education,” “The Hurt Locker,” “Inglourious Basterds,” “Precious: Based on the Novel ’Push’ by Sapphire,” “A Serious Man,” “Up,” “Up in the Air.”

Who I want to win: Up
Who will win: The Hurt Locker

I want animated moves to be taken seriously, finally, in this country. Up is an amazingly fine film and it deserves to be nominated. I adore Inglourious Basterds so much I have it on Blu-Ray but I bet this is the year of the “woman made film” and the Academy will show their progressive spirit by giving it to the Hurt Locker.

Actor: Jeff Bridges, “Crazy Heart”; George Clooney, “Up in the Air”; Colin Firth, “A Single Man”; Morgan Freeman, “Invictus”; Jeremy Renner, “The Hurt Locker.”

Who should win: Jeff Bridges
Who will win: Jeff Bridges

Jeff Bridges is due, he won the Golden Globe, and he sung all the songs himself. I haven’t seen the Hurt Locker, though.

Actress: Sandra Bullock, “The Blind Side”; Helen Mirren, “The Last Station”; Carey Mulligan, “An Education”; Gabourey Sidibe, “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”; Meryl Streep, “Julie & Julia.”

Who should win: Meryl Streep
Who will win: Sandra Bullock

What a change from all those terrible movies to have Sandra Bullock win an Oscar. The Oscars loves a feel-good story. Although I bet I am wrong and they will give it to Gabourey Sidibe.

Supporting Actor: Matt Damon, “Invictus”; Woody Harrelson, “The Messenger”; Christopher Plummer, “The Last Station”; Stanley Tucci, “The Lovely Bones”; Christoph Waltz, “Inglourious Basterds.”

Who should win: Christoph Waltz
Who will win: Christoph Waltz

Best. Nazi. Ever. Best Nazi Ever! And look at the last several supporting actors! All mass murderers! You cannot go wrong with death! I loved him to death. Blows everyone else away.

Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz, “Nine”; Vera Farmiga, “Up in the Air”; Maggie Gyllenhaal, “Crazy Heart”; Anna Kendrick, “Up in the Air”; Mo’Nique, “Precious: Based on the Novel ’Push’ by Sapphire.”

Who should win: I haven’t seen any of these but I will guess Maggie Gyllenhall
Who will win: Mo’Nique

All of the pre-Oscar buzz has Mo’Nique winning this award for her performance as the horrible Mom in Precious. Precious is a film that sort of repels even me, but I know that it has heavy Oscar buzz and they’ll want to give it some award somewhere.

Directing: James Cameron, “Avatar”; Kathryn Bigelow, “The Hurt Locker”; Quentin Tarantino, “Inglourious Basterds”; Lee Daniels, “Precious: Based on the Novel ’Push’ by Sapphire”; Jason Reitman, “Up in the Air.”

Who I want to win: Kathryn Bigelow
Who will win: Katheryn Bigelow

No woman has ever won for best director before. Never. This is the 82ntd Oscars so in 82 years of movies there has not been one woman. I bet people will vote for her just to get the chance.

Adapted Screenplay: Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell, “District 9”; Nick Hornby, “An Education”; Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche, “In the Loop”; Geoffrey Fletcher, “Precious: Based on the Novel ’Push’ by Sapphire”; Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner, “Up in the Air.”

Who should win: District 9
Who will win: Precious

Oh, come on. You know they’ll give it to Precious. I sort of want it to go to Jason Reitman but I can already see the future and say that we’ll all be pulling for District 9 in this category and it will go to Precious.

Original Screenplay: Mark Boal, “The Hurt Locker”; Quentin Tarantino, “Inglourious Basterds”; Alessandro Camon and Oren Moverman, “The Messenger”; Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, “A Serious Man”; Bob Peterson, Pete Docter, Tom McCarthy, “Up.”

Who should win: Inglourious Basterds
Who will win: The Hurt Locker

This is a throw-down category for me. I think Inglourious Basterds is a masterpiece of dialogue but doesn’t Tarantino already have one of these for Pulp Fiction? The Coen brothers as well. I want to give it to Up because again, I want animated movies taken seriously as art in the United States but I bet it’s a big night for the Hurt Locker.

Note that I have stiffed Avatar on everything. It will win a huge slew of technical awards including cinematography, sound mixing, sound editing, and, of course, visual effects. Like the Matrix before it, it is a masterpiece of visual wizardry. But as a piece of great film? You have got to be kidding me.

Edit: Sorry, I thought it was 83 years, when it is in fact 82. To make up for it I give you the Slate Oscar Nattering which is some of the best Oscar nattering on the Internets.

Another Edit! And the John Scalzi picks, too!