It looks like maybe, possibly, a Pakistani naturalized citizen decided, for reasons unknown, to buy a 1993 Nissan off craigslist for cash (sneaky!), drive it into Manhattan, and try to light it on fire in Times Square. Reasons why will come out in the next few weeks, I’m sure, but for now those are the facts reported in the Major Newspapers of Note.
Had this happened somewhere that was not New York, or if it was being handled by DHS instead of the NYPD, right now it would be:
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT WAS A TERRORIST ATTACK A HORRIBLE TERRORIST ATTACK WE MUST LOOK LIKE WE ARE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT NOW SO EVERYONE WHO DRIVES A NISSAN MUST BE PULLED OVER AND SEARCHED! NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO WEAR ANY SHOES! OR HATS! OR LEFT GLOVES! AND NO ONE MAY FERTILIZE THEIR GARDENS WITH FERTILIZER FROM LOWES/HOME DEPOT EVER AGAIN BECAUSE HE USED FERTILIZER OH MY GOD!!!!*
QUICK BOMB A COUNTRY WITH BROWN PEOPLE IN IT!
You get the idea. No more mid-sized SUVs from the mid-90s allowed in downtown Manhattan. No one allowed to wear socks on Tuesday. Threat Level elevated to puce. And that ruling would never, ever be rescinded. Because We Are At War.
Instead it happened in New York, the only city in the nation to have undergone a real, actual, and very terrible terrorist attack. And two guys running hot dog carts saw the vehicle smoking and reported it to a mounted police officer. And the mounted police officer called it in. Reasonable measures were taken. The police went to the tape. They arrested the guy trying to get on a plane to Dubai**. He’s being charged. And life has gone on.
Sure there are jerks saying we shouldn’t Mirandize an American Citizen (I am looking at you, Sen. McCain) which is, well, illegal. But this is it, and it is how it should be. The point of terrorism is to cause terror. If terrorism only instills light mockery and a slight shrug, the enemy is defanged. The enemy will have to find some new way to inflict damage on America.
“Dude,” New York says. “We’ve seen your worst and we’re not afraid of you.”
And I still think the Twin Towers should be rebuilt exactly as they were — except 1 story taller.
* You must be doubly searched if you are a) brown or b) in Arizona. You must be tripley searched if you are both brown and in Arizona.
** Can you look more guilty?